Several years ago, time tangles in my brain, not exactly sure how long ago it was, not very, I was having dinner with my parents, didn't want to but my father insisted. When we left the restaurant he kissed me goodnight, fell to the ground and was dead. When I 'cleared' I realized I had lost the only truly unconditional love I had ever felt. The years that followed were ones of illness, surgery, loss of business and deaths of a man I was very close to and my sister. I found the Internet.
I've never really brought into the whole cyber friendship and love thing but certain people did become part of my daily life. Some have continued to be great joys to me some have not, I guess just like in real life and many have become part of my real life. What I never expected was to find that elusive man who would 'get me'. He said the nicest thing to me today on the phone as I count the days to return to England to be with him, how he loved me because I'm who I am. He'll never have to worry about that, I'll always be who I am, an educated, somewhat talented NYC Jewish female artist who really hates BS, bigotry of any sort, lack of integrity, a pain in the ass and very annoying if I'm hungry, which is always. I'll never call him chum, though I've been called a chum, a tart, a bird, a strumpet, I like all of them coming from the voice I hear at the other end of the phone line but here we don't have chums and I'll never ask for a cuppa, don't like tea, I have a cup of coffee, that's what we have here unless you're doing the Starbuck's bit with those fancy latte names I really haven't studied. I've been informed I'll have to learn some of these colloquialisms to know what's going on, so I guess I will though I really don't mind not knowing if they sound amusing to me but they surely won't become part of my daily usage of word. Where's my coffee, I want it now, sounds more like me.
What has become part of my daily life is the knowledge and the feeling of being covered in love. Over the years we had spoken of him coming to NYC the way you do in cyberspace with people you don't really know. That didn't happen but I did go to England. I arrived in London on my birthday as I had done for so many years when my father was alive the plane ticket and endless theatre performances being an annual gift. My mother generously gave me this ticket.
Duggy was waiting for me at Gatwick. I heard that voice I had heard so often in song and over Skype call out my name, saw the gusto of hair and a smile of such purity, honesty and joy that at that moment I knew I was home. We never stopped talking, we still haven't stopped talking, he'd probably say it's me who never shuts up, we talked through the day and the night and then I felt the gentlest touch I'd ever felt and I asked are we really going to do this and he said yes. My father would have approved.
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